I've been having these dreams lately. Freudian in nature, you might say. In and of itself, that's not such a big deal (you should see what I get into when I'm conscious), but every damn night for the last week I've woken up somewhere in Canada, suckling from a maple tree, covered in sap.
Amateur Night
I'm not a maple syrup addict, of course. Addicts go to meetings. But I do make good use of the stuff on the regular. I've got a four-chambered stomach, so I set one aside purely to let things marinate. And by marinate, I mean ferment. It tastes even better the second time.
You freaks with your single stomachs can't do that, of course. Suckers. Lucky for you, I'm here to help, with a recipe that tastes like Richard Burton made breakfast for Arnold Palmer over a Kentucky saloon.
Richard Burton was an alcoholic. Get it?
Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups maple syrup
8 shots of Bourbon
3 shots of lemon juice
cinnamon sticks
a lemon wedge
ice
Preparation:
Dump your maple syrup into a saucepan with a cinnamon stick or two. Bring it just barely to a low boil, and then let it cool back to room temperature.
Pop the bourbon and lemon juice into a shaker, then pour in your maple syrup until you're nearly full. Shake vigorously.
Serve over ice, with a lemon wedge and/or cinnamon stick for garnish.
Your finished product will be tasty enough, but not nearly as good as my own internally-generated version. If you want that, I charge $500 a batch. $700 if you insist that I brush my teeth first.