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The Channu-rita

I am a firm believer in celebrating the holidays of all faiths, because why would I not extend my annual December Bender for a few weeks? Channukah is a fine damn holiday. It's about important... uh... spiritual... things. That I can't remember right now.

Ok, so Manischewitz may taste like Dimetapp and rat poison, right, but it's cheap as hell.

Y'see, elves like to think they can party hard, but those little livers just can't keep up. So you slip 'em a few bottles of kosher aisle rotgut, and invariably you'll find a few passed out behind the barn. Limbs akimbo, wallets ripe for the picking. I make a good margin with Manischewitz.

But hey, how about something you'd actually want to drink? We're callin' this one the Channu-rita, because we found Rita curled up in a filing cabinet the morning after I made a pitcher of these during crunch week (right on top of Channukah, natch). Sadly, the wee trollop had the foresight to hide all the permanent markers.

Serve with Thanksgiving dinner to kick-start the tears and recriminations.
Serve with Thanksgiving dinner to kick-start the tears and recriminations.


1 teaspoon coarse salt
4 ounces Tequilla
2 ounces Triple Sec
2 ounces freshly-squeezed lime juice
2 ounces blue Curacaco (does anyone actually know how to pronounce this?)
2 teaspoons superfine sugar
1 lime, cut into wedges


Fill a cocktail shaker halfway with ice.

Place Tequilla, Triple Sec, lime juice, blue Cura... Kuro... Krak... blue bottle that's not gin, and sugar in the shaker; shake hard for 30 seconds.

Serve in Margarita Glasses with coarse salt or Margarita Salt on the rims of the glasses. Strain the Blue Margarita into the glasses.

Couple these'll get you swervin' like you're in a feel-good Claymation film. And yes, I did keep a flask and a stash of green handy for that "process." Just watch this outtake... man I don't even remember that, I was outta my damn lid. I was like the Jason Mewes of that production, and Bumble (may the hairy SOB rest) could never resist screwing with me.

I honestly don't see what's particularly Jewish about the drink itself, though I'm not exactly what you'd call observant myself. Santa yelled at me for confusing Israel and Belize one time. What? They're both little and near some water. I think. We got stopped at a checkpoint. Weird that they didn't know who we were. Santa doesn't keep a consulate there, for some reason.